Raisin-a-ruckus One Day at a Time

some thoughts as I lay on my back due to eating way too many chips

   My daughter has a life motto and I swear she always lives by it, "I do what I want!" Pretty bold, exciting statement and she does seem very happy and full of life. I wish I could adhere by that statement or maybe I just am not honest with myself about what I really want. Apparently, I want to make plans and start projects and never finish them. I want to dream big then live in a fantasy world in my mind. I think of the way I want things but apparently, am satisfied with the way things are. Tonight I am being lazy. I am just laying here. I am bored out of my mind and have eaten way too many chips to get up. I actually feel pretty disgusting. blah. who invented potato chips anyway?? and who put them in giant bags? and when did it become acceptable to lay on your back and eat them like popcorn. It's not good. Do I want to be laying here? No, I really don't think I do.Although, I'm pretty tired of sorting and decluttering the basement and folding laundry and life's day to day monotonous chores...and being responsible. Tomorrow I am leaving early for a girl's weekend. I'm pumped but I wish I had been riding the mustang for the past month and not just thinking about it. I'm hoping the rush of seeing my old high school buddies boosts my adrenaline a bit...and that maybe Ican sleep past 6 am tomorrow morning so I can stay up past my bedtime; 9pm. At this point, I don't see that happening tho. I think I will avoid chips, maybe food all together might be good. I'm excited to get away and rekindle that love of those girls from almost 40 years ago. I think I met MaryJo in third grade when I was 8 so ya, she's my friend of 38 years. How weird is that. and she's the kind of girl I can go for a few years without speaking to and then when I see her it's like we've never been apart. and all things are acceptable and good because we love each other, we don't judge or have to impress each other. She's a really good friend. and Kate is just as good of friend. I spent my childhood with these two.....and cousin Reg is going too. Yay! It should be a blasty blast and a nice break and hopefully, I'll come back refreshed and motivated to get off my back and not eat bagfuls of chips in one sitting. This has been a LONG winter. I can see why so many women on the prairie went crazy due to being isolated. cuckoo! cuckoo! I guess I'll be back on Monday to let you know how it all goes!

Wednesday Night Whinefest

   Sometimes you just know it's time to go to bed when you're whining...... like my son Sam is right now. He doesn't want to do his homework. Oh,and neither does Max. Neither one of them want to walk to the car and get the book bag with the ruler.Waaaaaaa. Waaaaaa. And I made plans to go out of town to see some girlfriends from high school and totally wrecked their plans. It's unthinkable for me to be gone and apparently it's sad. See, this weekend Sam wanted to have a friend over. and Max just said, "No,seriously, what are we supposed to do when you are gone?" This weekend is gonna be bad for them. Maaaaaa. Maaaaa. Oh no the have turned sheep now. oh I guess it was mmmmmmmmmmmmm,mmmmmmmmmmmm(with a whining inflection). Max is begging to go to Michella's and he hasn't even been invited. oh, he said that's a lie. She texted him and asked him, I'm wondering do I have on face paint and a big red nose and floppy shoes? it seems I am here to entertain them. This is what is happening around the kitchen table tonight as I just broke the news of my getaway. So much excitement for me; a total travesty for them, the poor things. I was actually having second thoughts of going but now I can not wait to start that car and drive west as fast as is legal. Old friends. I love them. I'm anticipating lots of laughter and shared memories and good food and no whining. yay! Can't wait!

Right now,  I'm actually wasting a few minutes while waiting for American Idol to record. I like to record it so I can watch it without commercials. Commercials are my biggest pet peeve.( No, I do not want to buy your stuff! PLEASE, come take some of mine!) Commercials and ball bouncing and whining. As soon as AI is over, I'm going to bed. I hope I don't have scary clown dreams now.

Oh and look at the cat sitting here where it belongs on the table.  It still isn't looking at me after the stare down. I should have done that years ago!!

Ian moves on....:(

  Ian. He found an apartment and passed the application process. He will be moving on March 8. See, he has no clue and this is what worries me. March 8 is a Monday. Most adults will be at work. Even he has class that day! Where's he going to get a truck? Is he going to have his utilities turned on? Mail forwarded?  Cable TV in place? He needs cable TV so he can watch the basketball tournaments. It's an essential. Who's going to pack his stuff? Is he going to ask me to do it? Who's going to help him shower and get to school? Is he going to do his homework? What day are his tests? What about food? Will he have any? What if he starves? Will he be lonely? We live in a busy household. He's surrounded by lots of people, kids, dogs, cats, etc. Will he take the 14 visitors a day with him? Will they pick up their trash at his new place? They don't do it here. Good Lord, what are THEY going to eat? and who's going to do the dishes? and the laundry? and find his wallet?  Who's going to make sure they don't drink and drive? Who's going to monitor their every move so they don't mess up? and give them " that look" when they do?  Who's going to tell them to turn the music down or to stop talking too loud in the yard at 3 in the morning? They are country boys and have no volume control....at all. Who's going to give Ian a hug every day and tell him he's great and that he is loved?  Who's going to make sure his hair is combed just right or tell him he needs a haircut? Will he be safe? Will his night help show up? See, the questions are endless. Is this really going to work for him?

I think the real question is what am I going to do? I guess just miss him.....a lot.  Anybody need someone to run your life? I'm available and I'm really really good at it.

More snow

  While the cats away, the mouse will .......shovel snow.

 

   I know! I have boys who could be shovelling the snow but strangely enough, I like to do it. It's a great outdoor activity and I love the fresh air. I think once spring hits, I may just leave the windows open all spring, summer and fall. I've had it with recirculated air. I love to put on my parka and muck boots and go outside and work. It beats the heck out of looking at that stupid exercise bike that I thought was such a brilliant idea. Shovelling snow is a great workout and I didn't break a hip today so that is good. I didn't even hurt my back and when I am busy outdoors, my kids run the other way so I enjoyed some solitude on this beautiful afternoon. You may  notice that the cat showed up after I was almost done and please note, he is not looking at me.That's because we had a stare down the other day and I won and now I think he gets irritated when I look at him. It goes both ways. We have an odd relationship, me and that darn cat. Anyway, another snowy day here in Kansas. Oh and I just looked at the weather, it's supposed to snow tomorrow too. That's just grrrr-eat! I'll happily shovel that too! 

  Tonight, as I'm blessed in this great house we call our home that I take so for granted, I will be warm and content and my body may ache a little ( but a good ache) and I'm going to finish a rug that I started back in September. I wanted to finish it in October before Halloween, then I shot for Thanksgiving, then the holidays approached and I set it down.

   It's almost done just a little to go on the border. I wonder why I just didn't finish it in the first place? Wool is warm and nice to work with especially in winter on a snowy night. Mmmmmm! a little taste of heaven on earth.
 
 

The true cost of clutter

  What a great day.....working hard in the basement, dejunking and what great finds I have been finding for my woMan Cave. The six million feet of snow isn't bothering me at all and in fact, a while ago while I was cooking dinner, I saw a fox on our hill out the window. It was pretty and really so is the snow. I look at it this way....one more snow blizzard down, spring is just around the corner. And really, what is spring without the winter??

So anyway, I found some treasures down there. Yes, I did.

I found some homemade dolls that Kevin had given me years ago. We used to have a client who made these wonderful dolls and he would bring them home occasionally. I wonder what they were doing in a box? Now, they are in my room!

These are only a few. He's a generous man. When he knows I like something, he likes to suprise me. I wish he'd replace my dishwasher....handwashing dishes is a drag. But then again, it has it's good points too. It's a nice time to ponder thoughts and see the fox outside! The pictures above the dolls were a gift from my dad in 1973!  He used to decoupage. I love them.

I also found some unfinished projects that I had started.

 I hung these on the wall with pins. Maybe one day I will be inspired to finish them. I know I have about 3 more sections to the one on the right. Some day it will be a huge wonderful quilt. Hmmm. I wonder where those pieces could be?

So here are the north and south walls of my woman cave....
 

I have more work to do but progress is good! I also found 3 more bags of trash and 4 boxes of giveaway stuff! Yay!!

I realized the true cost of clutter today. Check this out.

I found this deposit made out to our veterinary clinic complete with 9 undepositted (?) checks. the date? 11/11/2004. The total amount? $746.25 . It was stuck in a quilt magazine.And then to top it off, I found an $8.00 check to Max from Aunt Diane dated 5/28/2006. 
 

Yes! the cost of clutter, $754.25

Fresh milk day!!

Saturday is the day I go to Carolyn's house to get fresh milk! She has cows. She sells the milk. I love her and the milk and Saturdays!!

Blog posted here.

Cousins

Look at us! We are having so much fun in our own little "cousin world".  They genuinely crack me up on a daily basis.....and most of the night too;. We text each other....a lot. Some nights, I will be sitting with the rest of the family, texting away with one of them laughing aloud in a room of somber people. We are just that funny. Today, Ronnie was the delight. She blogs too and had some great hilarious posts. Between the blogging, the phone call (she's amazing at computers and since I deleted my internet explorer, the call was vital. She fixed it! yay!) and the texts on this day, I am just having a wonderful time. I came home for lunch, chuckling aloud and my son says, 'What's so funny?" and I tell him like I tell my husband so often, "oh, I'm just talking to Ronnie." and then they just kind of look at me like I'm strange. I guess they don't get it. I wonder if anyone else would if they were privy to our conversations?? Oh who cares! They are top secret conversations anyway. Don't worry girls, my lips are sealed.....and I love you both!

    Anyhoo!  I just burnt my tounge on some Miso soup. I'm wondering who can eat soup for lunch anyway. It sounds so grown up, "oh, I'm having a bowl of soup for lunch!" really? It's not very filling or tasty...I always burn my mouth so when it does cool down enough to eat it, I have no tastebuds to enjoy it and then I'm hungry in a half an hour. bummer! but on a good note (delightul squeal inserted here) our new trash dumpster was delivered to the top of my driveway today. What a joyous occasion tonight will be filling that baby up AND I have 2 more heaping boxes of crap to load in the car to take to the goodwill. Yay!! Monday is going to be a very very good day!  As I'm finishing up my woMan cave, I have a burning desire to create something;. I'm thinking of skirts. It is almost spring you know!!

So You may have noticed I added some features to my blog, and if you want to read my cousins blog, Just tap on " Tellin it like it is.'; in my blogs I enjoy feature.........be forwarned tho, she definately has a potty mouth so if this offends you, just don't go there. :)

Git r done

There is just something magical about a sunny day especially when you've gotten a good nights sleep the night before! I have the window open although it's only 45 degrees outside! The fresh air just feels good. It smells good. This has just been a great day. I even snuck into town today and ran errands without showering first, and I didn't bump into anyone I know! Yay! Also, I found a box of light switch and electrical outlet covers. Eureka!! We have outlets that have been uncovered for years. I cringe when I look at them. Yet another unfiinished project.....last week, max and I were down in the basement in my room. It has a lightswitch on the wall that is uncovered. He asked, "Mama, can we cover that? I turned on the light once and it shocked me." I said "Yes! We can!" Poor thing. So tonight I will make that boys dream come true! I'm going hunting for open outlets and I'm gonna cover them all!! Yippee! A perfect ending to a perfect day.

Blog posted here.

Trash!

  So cleaning the basement is a lot of work. I procrastinated yesterday afternoon and watched two episodes of "Hoarders" and I'm glad I did. It makes it easier to dispose of items. I've decided to spend hour increments in the basement and when I went down there last night, I gathered up 3 large trashbags full of garbage, stuff nobody in there right mind would want.  The problem is I cancelled our trash service, on a whim a few weeks ago. We had been using the same company for many years. They came on Tuesday which made it my favorite day of the week; Trash Day!! I would haul that large barrell to the curb and watch with glee as they emptied it at noon every Tuesday. I loved watching them drive off with our trash. This winter, they just quit coming and when I called them, they said I would have to have the bin down there at 6 am, they had changed the route and we were the 6 am pickup. Well, that doesn't work for me. I'm not getting up at 5:30 to drag that barrell down our hill and to take it down the night before?? No. there are dogs who tear into the bags and the wind gails 100 mph here. I all ready loaded those bags up once, I'm not going to exert any energy picking up that trash off the highway too! It's not a good idea so I showed them. I cancelled our service. What a great idea! Now I sit here in the kitchen with 9 bags of garbage, and 4 huge boxes of stuff waiting outside the back door to be hauled off. It's pleasant. I love to look at that mountain of junk every day. I think I will come home early this afternoon and load it in the pick up and have Kevin make a trip to the dump. It shouldn't be that bad as the sun is shining and it's above 10 degrees. I'm sure he loves the little chores I dream up for him anyway; it makes him feel useful.... and then I will call the alternate trash service that comes on Mondays at 2 in the afternoon and get on their schedule. Oh, how I await with anticipation the new barrell to be hauled up and down our driveway full of trash. From now on, Monday will be my favorite day of the week. Yay!!

Church!

   So we are trying out a new church this morning. I'm pretty excited. I love to praise and worship the Lord through song. I love to hear a great encouraging sermon. I love Jesus Christ and believe the Bible is the actual Word of God. I pray daily and believe that my prayers are being answered. The thing I have a problem with is organized religion and Christian radio and everything that comes with it.  I'm just not that gullible to believe that a person or a group of people have all the answers. I feel like I don't fit into these circles nor do I have a burning desire to change my whole way of living to try to and half the time I don't believe what they are saying anyway. Several years ago, we went to a church for about 3 years. We were told if we weren't there for every service or activity then we were being sinful and just not good Christians so that is where we spent ALL of our time. We didn't go to the movies, listen to any music that wasn't oriented to the Lord or speak to our non- christian friends or really do anything except spend every moment we could in church. We didn't see our extended family for 3 years. I would dress up and wear make up and pantyhose and be uncomfortable trying to fit in with the group of women. I didn't grow up in a church so this was all foreign to me but I loved knowing that God sent His only Son to die for me and All my sins are forgiven.  I love that and I believe it. But they couldn't use my husband for anything besides donating his money because he wasn't a good role model due to the fact that he smoked cigarettes and it's not a good testimony despite the fact that many people in authority weighed 300 pounds due to overeating at the potlucks. And they told my older son with cerebral palsy that when God miraculously healed him there would be a great revival in the land and he would be the key to the church growth so week after week he was prayed for and no healing. I finally went up and told Ian " I love you just the way you are my son and Jesus does too. And you can be used for the Glory of God even though you use a wheelchair". He broke down crying....what pressure he must have felt to be the key to revival in that church. Do I believe in healing by Jesus Christ? Yes. I believe in miracles. I love to see them happen.  We loved the people at the church and many are still great friends. Sometimes, we go back for service there and are welcomed wholeheartedly. It's great now but I have to say that when we finally left that church I felt like we were coming out of a cult.  Even now I was reading a comment by a church-goer on facebook and she had said something a little risque and then followed up by saying something like "my church family is going to think I've flown the coop." I mean should your church family be judging your comments on facebook and deciding whether or not you are holy enough?  or should a person say things on facebook to try to impress everyone that they are holy? I don't understand. Some people say the most thorough prayers in public. I always feel inadequate and pass when asked to pray before a group because a lot of times I just say "Help!"  I am not an impressive prayer. I'm a simpleton. I would hate to think this is an angry rant at the church, it's not. I just don't know where I fit in as a christian woman.  I know I am not the same as everyone else and I guess I'm not willing to sacrifice my individuality to become someone I'm not. I'm leary. I just want to be accepted as I am. I don't want to change to fit in. I want to be authentic. I don't like listening to christian radio because they have several common themes.....1.gay bashing  2. bashing the democratic political party and the President of the United States  3.Abortion  4. how to get out of debt.  It just seems wrong to me. Where's the Good News?  I don't like to look at all the going-ons of the world and see how the devil has messed everything up; I like to see the world and look for the ways God has touched it and made it good.  I don't believe Jesus Christ is a Baptist or a Methodist or any religion really and I think it just messes up His true intensions when a group of people apply rules and regulations and stop thinking for themselves. I don't want to be the person who says one thing to "my church family" and another thing to "my other friends".  I'm not perfect but I have a good testimony about the Grace of God.  So off we go (selfishly) in search for His Love on this Valentine's Day, hoping to find some acceptance for who we are.....a good fit among our Christian brothers and sisters despite our flaws.  I'm not really sure why I went off on this subject today apparently I'm pretty good at judging, too....and I do worry that I may have  offended someone who may be reading this but it is truley how I feel. It's a touchy subject, I know...and I'm obviously a bit confused by the whole subject matter but isn't that kind of the way it should be? I mean if you think you know exactly how it is or should be, that is the moment when you really should be doing the most soul searching and asking the most questions.....

After Church:

So I have to say, that was a pleasant experience. They say that if you are looking for a perfect church it becomes imperfect the minute YOU walk in the door. I do miss being involved in church activities and closing myself off from them, guarding myself from being hurt. I'm open to go back next week. There were several aquaintances that I knew from the community there.  I felt accepted and no one seemed judgemental. The sermon was great and inspiring and Bible based. It was nice. Yay!