I snapped......

at an old man at the gas station today. I buy gas at Dillons so I can save money on gas. I love redeeming my loyalty points and getting cheap gas. Today I saved 70 cents per gallon. I filled up my car for $29. It was great! Getting into a spot to fill up the tank was not fun. First of all, I was trying to get to cousin Ronnie's so I could entertain my mom and visiting aunt from Chicago because she was gonna be busy.  She asked me if I was busy today and if I had time to entertain them. I asked her if she thought they would be entertained by watching me swim in her pool. She said, "YES!" So I took the boys over there. It took me two hours to get them in the car. I hate waiting for people to get up in the morning. So after dragging them to the car to go have fun and swim, I had to smell their terrible farts all the way there while they laughed. It was a horrible experience for me. I am always surrounded by boys....one would think I would be used to it but honestly it never gets any better. Anyway, after the struggle to get everybody in the car and holding myself together and trying to be nice and pleasant, as soon as we hit the highway, the gas light came on. We went through the drive-thru of some greasy spoon and then I hit the gas station at Dillons. There were 20 other cars there so I drove around and around and then sat and waited. A big tanker truck pulled up and waved me out of the way so he could reload the gas holding tanks. So I peeled out of the lot in a rage. I had reached my limit.....and I knew it so I calmly drove back around and lo and behold there was a spot perfect for my car. I pulled up to it and an old man in a truck pulled up facing me, blocking my way and he yells out the window, "Hey! Can you move so I can get in there and you can have this spot." I actually yelled at him, "YES! GET THE HELL OUT OF THE WAY!' and he said, "What?" I said, "MOVE!!!" and gave him a big sweep of my hand to let him know I wanted him to move out of my way. I was mentally drained. Sam, in the backseat, said "Geez, Mom. Why did ya have to be so mean?" Max said something like, "Ya. that was mean." Sam's best friend sunk into his seat and said, "that. was. awesome." I felt like an idiot. I got out and apologized and all the little old man said was, "it's a beautiful day! I hope yours gets better." Then I felt like an asshole. I have a lot on my mind. I go through a wide range of emotions every day. I am concerned about moving and packing and selling this house and preparing for Emily's wedding. She asked me today to be her maid of honor. So sweet. I cried. I love her. I don't want to take the dogs but I don't want to upset the kids. I want to improve my diet but crave chocolate.....so bad. I have so much to do but don't know where to start. I just want someone to do it all for me.....but know I can't do that....so I snapped at the old man at Dillons in front of my kids. Stupid. Arrrgh! On a positive note, the afternoon was great. I enjoyed my mom and my aunt and Ronnie wasn't too busy, so we enjoyed her too. And I am thankful I snapped at a nice man with a positive attitude who knew what to say and not a mean one who had a gun. It kind of brings everything into perspective. I need to get busy....although swimming is funner.