Well, Christmas 2011 has passed....Let's see, it took two weeks to prepare for the blessed event and it may take two weeks to recover, also. I totally feel as though I have had my ass kicked. I was thinking this morning as I jumped out of bed that Christmas is kind of a strange season...at least for me. I mean, I spend more money than I usually would, eat hundreds of thousands of calories, stay up late, tolerate piles of trash for longer periods of time....and validate the throwing caution to the wind by saying, "It's Christmas!!!" The beautiful thing is that people in genreal smile more and express love more and search out people they haven't seen for awhile and act more humanely, also.....Yesterday, I layed in bed for almost the entire day. Numb. I felt nothing. ...as if I were in shock. I have a head cold which is irritating and I think I gained ten pounds from sitting and eating candy by the handfuls. At one point, one of the boys asked me, "What's for dinner?" I just looked at him and thought, "Are you kidding me? I just ate 75 tiny Hershey bars in one sitting. Why don't you go chow down on those?" I will be so thankful when that bowl of candy is gone. I will probably end up eating it myself....today. It's no doubt that at some point this evening one of the kids will ask me where the bowl of chocolate is and I will just have to tell them that it sat in the living room for two days and they had their chance. The 30 pounds was for sharing and was available to everyone. It's really not my fault they didn't seize the opportunity to eat some before it was gone.....You got to be fast around here....they should know this. Geez. So I could beat myself up for gluttony for the next few days or I could celebrate the fact that we were surrounded by people we love and we laughed alot
and it was a glorious holiday...really. The kids had been dreading it but found that it wasn't as bad as they thought it would be. At one point, I told Emily, "You know? I feel as if your dad is still here. Only just in the other room napping." That's where he spent most Christmas days...in bed asleep.....and then we talked about how it was kind of strange to spend so much time napping that when you are actually gone, the people who loved you could just pretend you were napping and not really gone. That is a lot of napping, People. Emily came home for Father's Day last summer, Kevin slept the entire day away while she and I talked and laughed and acted silly
We both love this picture. We laughed hysterically after she took it. I guess, in a way, I should be thankful that he liked to sleep so much. At the time, I would tell him, "Honey, wake up! You are missing it!!" but it really helped this Christmas season....and that's just the way it is.
Some things that made me feel really good over the past couple of days were the gifts that I recieved. I was truly humbled. ....take this lunchbox
It makes me feel that maybe I am having a positive impact on the people around me when they see something like this and think of me. I love it. I have no clue what to do with it but I am basking in the thought. And then Reggie's daughter thought I needed this bracelet.....
Bracelets made at Beads for Life . She said she knew I would love to support the organization....and I do! I had never heard of it so i went to their website and this is what it says: "BeadforLife is a Colorado 501 (c)(3) nonprofit organization that works to eradicate extreme poverty by creating bridges of understanding between impoverished Africans and concerned world citizens. " This may be my go to site for gift giving! LOVE IT!!
I am a shitty gift giver. I'm not clever when it comes to buying things. It makes me uncomfortable and I worry about whether the intended person will love it....and then I beat myself up over it and have feeling of inadequacy. But as I opened each gift bestowed on me I did kind of have a feeling of well, a feeling of that maybe the best gifts that I give are Love and positive thoughts and inspiration and laughter....and maybe it's not just at Christmastime....and believe me! Those are gifts I give to myself as much as I give to anybody else....maybe through consciously building myself up I have done the same for others. I hope so. It's funner to share! I'm not a saint by any means and truly am sort of selfish......as are we all...it's human nature.
So anyway, my favorite was this:
This was given to me by a friend....he's the dad of one of Sam's friends. We talk a lot.... and we went to a dinner party last week. It was a lot of fun. We may just go out again sometime. This cup cracks me up because when I opened it, he smiled and said, "F is for FANTASTIC!" We laughed. It was so sweet because he said he was out shopping and saw it and couldn't believe that upon seeing the letter F, he thought of the word fantastic which made him think of me. See? that just makes me happy.....and I like to think that maybe that thought process was a gift in itself which is way better than what I actually gave him. He has a hearty appetite and likes jalepenos and eats a lot of bratwurst so I saw this great looking jalepeno mustard and wrapped it up.....only to find out that the one thing he does not enjoy eating is ......mustard. whoops.
OK, Have a fantastic day, People! Peace and Love to you!