I’ve been trying everything I can think of to get through these next few weeks in one piece....without having a nervous breakdown. I remember the year Ian graduated from high school, I cried every single day....for a whole year. I was a mess. I decided it would be a good idea to have a family picture taken before the actual graduation ceremony. When the photographer came by and we posed for the picture, I started laughing....hysterically.....until I was crying. I mean I could not stop laughing. I think my family was wondering what the hell was wrong with me.....I know the photographer was. I mean, I laughed hysterically the whole time she was there....for every picture. They turned out horrible. I don’t know what came over me. I just could not stop laughing. It was weird. When the gal left I regained my composure and felt like an idiot. People do weird things when they are stressed out. I guess there are worse things than uncontrollable laughter. Last night, Samuel said, “Mom! I graduate in 2 weeks!” I replied, “yep!” Then when he came in my room to tell me goodnight, he gave me a extra long hug.....which makes me want to cry right now....I asked him if he was ok and he said yeah and he loves me. Being the last of 5 kids, he’s probably scared to leave me because he doesn’t want me to be alone. That would be a hard thing for a kid to do! It makes me think of when I left my mom....I didn’t care....I wasn’t as compassionate as Sam is.....I was a brat....I just left....and probably didn’t call her for a month. I was terribly selfish at that point in my life. The good thing thing is I’ve grown up a little since then. Who I was and who I’ve become are definitely 2 different people. My kids have been my greatest teachers in life! I’m thankful for them. I owe them so much for making me a better person! Anyway, I’m getting way off track....I’ve been trying to take measures to get me through the next few weeks without having a nervous breakdown. There’s all sorts of stress relievers out there but one I have truly been enjoying is.....swimming!! I’ve been going to the gym and swimming laps and I LOVE it. I keep my suit in the car and pop in when I can. It feels great and the water is calming. Last week I even did a water aerobics class and am anxiously awaiting going again this next week. The gym I go to has a salt water pool so my skin feels great, my muscles feel like they got a good workout and I always feel like I kick ass because swimming is so super cool. One thing I know for sure is it’s better than worrying!! As I’m writing this, I am reminded of a verse from the Book of Luke in the Bible. Luke 11:9, 10
”So I say unto you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For those everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened”
Ian graduated 17 years ago. Maybe I have grown since then and I am humble enough to ask, capable in seeking and feel worthy enough to have that door opened for me. God has such amazing promises. I’m thanking for seeking solace in the swimming pool....it lead me to this moment and it’s a good one.
it’s a great day!!
Peace and love to you, friends.