Greg and I moved into a small home together around this time last year. Not only did we merge two households of stuff but we also moved into one of the smallest homes either of us have ever lived in. I have been on a decluttering journey for quite awhile so it was probably easier for me to adjust. It's tricky as an adult to share space with someone new. I mean you really don't know someone until you live with them. Luckily, I think we are both on the same page as we both like to avoid conflict and want the other person to be happy. I have tried to be respectful of taking up too much space with MY stuff and allowing him to have space for his stuff. Maybe at some point it will be OUR stuff.....I think we are getting there. I had a shift after Kevin died. We lived in a big house. I used to try to decorate it. After he died, all the stuff in that house reminded me of wasted time acquiring stuff....spending money to try to create a beautiful, happy home for our family. We never took a vacation. We didn't play games BUT we had throw pillows and furniture and everything I wanted to feel like I was doing my part. Is it any wonder that Kevin drank like a fish....he never had a day off because my soul was insatiable with my desire for more stuff. I have to admit I feel guilty at times but you know, when you know better, you do better. I've tried to honor him by focusing on experiences and relationships and not meaningless clutter. When I moved from that big house, I only took things that I LOVED and ADORED or that was essential to living. The rest of the stuff disappeared and I couldn't have cared less. I let girlfriends bring trucks up and take whatever they wanted because I just didn't want a reminder of a life wasted. I probably got rid of 75% of my stuff. I just didn't want anything to do with it. Flash forward to when my mom died and I was left discarding all her shit. Thankfully I had help. My aunt and cousin were life savers. I think that project took a full month of going through and getting rid of her stuff. I decided then that I didn't want to leave a project like that to my kids. Just thinking of it stresses me the fuck out. All that being said, I have spent the past year trying to make this little house a home jam packed full of useable space. Each inch has to have a purpose.....mostly to be used as space for people who we can interact with....have relationships..... the truest, most beautiful gift of life itself. Right now, Rod Stewart is playing. I am thankful I have space to twirl....and there isn't anything to trip over on the floor. Minimalizing has its advantages! I remember once when my kids were little and we lived in a pretty big house, a guy came over and the house was a complete wreck. It was filthy. He told me a story of his grandma who had a humble home but she took care of it. It was clean and functional and she kept it up and it was one of his favorite places to his spend time. I never really understood that story until now. I feel I am finally in a location and time in my life where I can appreciate that story......I'm also finding it interesting that I remember that story after 30 years or so.....and also, it's not the first time it has come to my mind. I want the energy of my home to be calm and inviting yet positive and FUN! A sanctuary. Over the past year, Greg and I have slowly been making this place our own. We finally bought a couch a couple months ago. A couch is essential. Our living room went from being able to seat 2 people to welcoming at least 7 comfortably. A workspace is essential too. Giving up my BIG home meant giving up my desk. I have wondered for the past year where I could find the space to put a desk. I have brought a card table in from the shed a few times and set it in various places that haven't worked out. Sometime over the holidays, I went to my brothers and he has a standing desk. I thought, "that will work!" I came home and wondered where I could put one of those......then we took down the Christmas tree and I spotted this space.....
We used to have a table with a plant on it there. As you can see, I started researching standing desks and I taped out the dimensions on the floor. I got on Amazon and added one to my cart then sat on it for a couple weeks....wondering if I would ever use the desk or if it would end up like my exercise bike that I so badly desired last year. Since I've started writing to you, I have felt a spark of new energy in my soul. I just really love sharing my thoughts and hope you find it worthy of reading and possibly inspiring. I have to admit sometimes I inspire myself. (I say this as I put my arms over my head and stretch from side to side) Any way, I bought the desk and LOOK!
A perfect fit! And all that stuff now has a place that is not on the kitchen table. I find it refreshing...and actually I'm smiling pretty big right now at my own cleverness....or maybe it's because Rod Stewart is so pleasant! Have you listened to his album "The complete Great American Songbook" ?? It's fantastic! If you could only feel the peace and love I feel right now. Wait. Can you?
Simple, humble, functional. A dream come true for me.
If I'm completely honest with you....I'm overcome with emotion right now. I feel "blessed and highly favored" as my mom would say. I'm just so thankful. I'm thankful for this space. I'm thankful for a vision. I'm thankful for Greg...I don't think he even knows what a gift he is to me. I'm thankful for this one wonderful life. And really I think this might be the first time I have ever been thankful for being ME. It's a really awesome feeling. As I stand here at this desk, writing this to you, I wonder if it is a magic desk. I think it is. I'm going to add "magical" to the energetic attributes of our home.
What's the energy of YOUR home? Have you ever thought about it? It can be whatever you desire it to be. All I can say, is lean into your desires and I promise you that you won't regret it!
Peace and love to YOU!!
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